


The Truth about Tatooine

by bethagain



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: (but here please enjoy some gen fic!), (no smut sorry), Gen, as Han Solo is about to find out, luke is not the wide-eyed innocent you think he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:23:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10077095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bethagain/pseuds/bethagain
Summary: Han Solo gets talked into explaining the birds and the bees to Luke Skywalker.It does not go as he expected.





	

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt by [thebyrchentwigges](https://thebyrchentwigges.tumblr.com) on tumblr:
> 
> "Someone showing Luke the ropes of dealing with admirers/dating/hookups as a Rebellion pilot!"
> 
> (Poor Han. He's currently back on the _Falcon_ with his head in his hands.)

“Would you talk to him?” Leia asked Han.

“Who, the kid?” The medal ceremony had finally ended, and Luke was happily chatting with a crowd of admirers.

Leia was watching it too. “Would you?”

“Sure, but what am I talking to him about?”

Leia bit her lip. “He’s had a pretty important few days. There are a lot of people who are going to want to…” She trailed off, still looking Luke’s way.

“I see,” Han said. He didn’t see the problem though. Luke was a healthy young man. If he wanted to spend some private time with a few Rebel pilots or ground techs, or hell even a general or two, who was Han to stop him?

“He’s a kid from a backwater planet,” Leia said. “Tatooine’s not sophisticated like Alderaan was. He told me on the way here that he’s never even seen a holonet show.”

Han had to smile. “So you’re… sophisticated?” 

He was delighted to see Leia’s cheeks go a deep pink. “I probably know more than he does, yes.”

“From personal experience, Your Highness?”

He’d noticed Leia always stood up straighter when she was gathering her dignity. She was probably a whole centimeter taller before she said, “None of your business, flyboy. Just talk to him, will you? Before he gets his heart broken. Or gets somebody pregnant.”

 

Han wasn’t about to get in the way of Luke’s chance to chat up a cute pilot after the ceremony. He waited until the crowd had started to disperse before he went looking for him. He was a little surprised to see Luke on his own at the edge of the room, sipping on a drink and watching the people go by.

“Hey, kid.”

Luke raised his drink in greeting. “Hi, Han.”

“There another one of those around here somewhere?”

“Sure, hold on.” Luke made his way to a table where there were still a few full bottles. He poured Han’s drink himself and brought it back over. “We didn’t have the greatest beer at Tosche Station, but it was better than this.”

Han took a sip and thought the kid was probably right. It was awful. He should tell their supply sergeant, he knew a guy who could get them something a step or two up and probably half the credits. And hey, this was a decidedly illegal guerrilla organization he’d hooked up with here, they wouldn’t care if it was a little outside the law. Han clinked his tumbler against Luke’s. “Job well done, kid.”

“Thanks.”

“So….” Han said, leaning back against the cool stone wall and wondering how this was done. He’d never had a son who needed to learn about the birds and the bees. He’d never had a little brother, either, or a younger friend like Luke. Chewbacca certainly didn’t need telling, about anything. He finally went ahead with, “Leia wanted me to talk to you.”

Luke’s brows drew together with concern. “Is something wrong?”

“She’s fine. She’s _sophisticated,_ ” Han added, and ignored Luke’s look of confusion. “Look, kid. Luke. You’ve got a lot of admirers around here.”

Now Luke’s cheeks went pink. “Yeah, an awful lot of people wanted to meet me.”

“That’s not exactly what I mean,” Han said. “Some of them wanted to… be _alone_ with you.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Luke said. 

“So, you know what happens when a man and a woman, uh.” Han couldn’t believe he was doing this. 

Luke stared at him with that earnest farmboy look, wide eyes, head a little forward, positively disarming. “No, Han, what?”

Oh gods. “Well, sometimes when two people like each other--” He was cut off by Luke’s laughter.

“Han, I’m nineteen years old, not _nine_.”

Oh gods, again. He took a drink to steady his nerves. “Well, you come from a pretty isolated place. Didn’t know what they taught you out there in the sand dunes.”

Luke looked around at the huge hall, at the Rebel soldiers still chatting or heading back to their stations, at the jungle visible through enormous openings in the walls. “They didn’t teach us much, to be honest. I know how to fix vaporators. I know how to use a rifle. And I know how to fly.”

Han watched the crowd with him, working up the nerve to go on. “So,” he finally continued. “You also know that sometimes two men…”

“And sometimes two women,” said Luke, laughing again. “Is the lesson over? Or is there anything else you think I need to know?”

 _You promised Leia,_ Han reminded himself. “Did Tatooine have, uh.” Great, now his own face was going red. “You, uh. Don’t want to be making any little Skywalkers. You know how to…?”

“They have condoms at the med center. There for the taking. I’ve already had three people let me know.”

“Ok. So, you…”

“Han.” Luke cut him off. “Did you ever even leave Mos Eisley?”

Well, no, he hadn’t. Mos Eisley had a bar. Deals happened in bars. There were drinks in bars. And sometimes companionship. Why the hell would he go anywhere else on that godforsaken planet?

Luke seemed to pick up on the thought. “Right. Tatooine’s boring.”

“Yeah. Sorry. I know that’s your home.”

“No, you’re not understanding me.” There was that earnest look again, wide blue eyes saying _listen to me_. “Tatooine’s _boring_.” 

Ok, yeah, he got it. The place was a giant pile of sand and rocks, that wasn’t news.

“There is nothing to do." 

“Yeah, been there, remember?”

This time Luke put a hand on Han’s shoulder, looked directly into his eyes. “There is nothing _else_ to do.”

At which point, Han got it. 

“Exactly,” Luke went on. “There’s a long dry season when the farms aren’t even running. You’ve got a bunch of kids who know how to drive the landspeeders, and you’ve got a bunch of huge, empty desert.” He took a swig of his drink, eyes going distant. “We used to go out there under the stars, take turns to watch for Sand People. Meet up at the salt cliffs during the day. Whoever wasn’t doing chores, hell, sometimes it was the whole teenage population of the Chott Salt Flats.” He shook his head. “I’ve had sunburns in places you don’t want to know about.”

Luke drained his tumbler and set it down with some others on a stone ledge nearby. “I’m going to go get some rest. Thanks for the talk.”

“Sure, kid.” Curious, Han added, “You really going off alone? There were some pretty cute Rebels chatting you up before. I’m sure one of them would like to--”

Luke shook his head. “Honestly, Han? I’m happy to have a _break_.”

Han watched him walk away, the farmboy who rescued a Princess and blew up a Death Star. What else did this kid have in store?

And then he finished his own drink and went looking for Leia. Oh yeah, he was going to find her, and he was going to have _words_ with her. And then he was going to go back to the _Falcon_ , where everything made more sense.


End file.
